growing up, the woman who gave birth to me loved to call me নষ্ট আর বিচ্ছিরী মেয়ে; noshto ar bicchirri meye, roughly translating to ruined and disgusting


girls eat magnolias in my dreams
ravenous
tusks swell out of their cheekbones
their eyes turn snakes into stone
and at night, they become swords

their tongues are scythes
dandelions and jasmine braided into their hair
butterflies die upon contact with their skin
something about corrosion
something about disgust

under sunlight, they claw their ways up
mountains made of brick and glass
their shoulder blades sprouting new bones
for vaster wings

sometimes the girls hold each other
weeping wet clay
red like earth uprooted
in the name of
a lesser man’s progress

their screams deafen even underwater
if there is enough salt, gills emerge on their necks
and their teeth sharpen into fangs
some say river fish sustains them
others say they were formed from the ocean floor

spring awakens them
as they emerge from the ruins, the decaying branches and overgrown withered ivy

in the mud that makes their flesh
there are moments of grace. budding new leaves. trees finally returning to themselves

there is ritual in our beings. our souls made possible by Allah, these great forests are prayers.
She is so good to us all

survival is taught more often than living to us
here, let us mourn our younger selves together

with hibiscus, honey, cardamom, smoke. rosewater, mint leaves, seashell shards. unfinished notebooks, half smoked cigarettes, mehendi, cherry blossom petals, soft sand, decaying wood. hereditary jewelry and rusting knives.

corn tortillas. nokshippitha. peeled lychees and pomegranates. sugarcane. za'atar. soft sitar. vibrant tabla. embroidery. dancing.

these are the offerings for the eternal altar to the women born to be destroyed.

on the street beyond streets
where there are no eyes that will murder
and countries bigger than a room

us girls feast on our futures
windows open in both the day and night
no curtains

lapping up each unimpeded possibility
without violent shame
and threats of disappearance

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AUTHOR BIO
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